i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
