my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
please come you make the beer taste better
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
