Duck Duck Cougar?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
