I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm at about main and main street
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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