He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
