I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
