PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
