she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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