Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
