By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
