Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
