No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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