I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do vagina's smell?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
