dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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