I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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