gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
