Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
