K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you mean i was at the winter classic?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
