So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
