We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize