oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Let's get the cat blown out
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
