The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
