Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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