if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
