You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
