she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
