? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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