We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
