we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
