i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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