I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
