scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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