I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
