Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
