Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
