she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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