I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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