so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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