a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
