I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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