as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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