I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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