I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
