I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize