winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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