Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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