We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
