I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
