bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
