I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
