May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My liver just had a heart attack.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
