laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
