Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We were destined to go to rehab together
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize