As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
