Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
