Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
