i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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