We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
