why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
