He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
