And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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