No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
