Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
