the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
