If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
