I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
