i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
