Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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