The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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