When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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