They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
