Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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