i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
