so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
