dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
