I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
