Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
