I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
