Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My vagina is officially offended.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
