It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
