You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize