how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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