If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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