She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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