Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
