I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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